Friday, October 15, 2010


I just hate people sometimes. I am a fairly social person, and hate to be alone but that sort of makes me a extremely masochistic person in a way because being surrounded by other humans is extremely frustrating sometimes. They are so full of shit. All of them.

For instance. I just read the most fucking retarded poem my eyes have ever seen and it gets so many compliments! Either people really like shit, or people are really full of shit. Probably both. I don't claim to be a good writer at all. I enjoy writing, that much is true. I also spend a lot of time writing and usually end up liking most of what I write.  So maybe it's harsh for me to criticize other people's shit when I write shit as well.

I'm just to judgemental. I really should be encouraging the horrible poets who don't know what the word "rhyme" even means because instead of sitting down and turning on some horrendous reality TV program they choose to indulge in the written word. It's quite admirable really.

Standards are just to fucking low now days.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I don't exactly know why I'm starting a blog. I already have one actually, but only certain people know about that one. Secrecy lets me talk shit on a regular basis without hurting anyone. I hope this let's me get alot of stuff off my chest, like a virtual psychiatrist or something of that nature. My personal journal should do that, but all that really has in it is a bunch of drawings accompanied by a caption or to. After all a picture is worth a thousand words and takes half the effort of writing those thousand words.

I guess that's laziness speaking.

One of my most prominent memories for some reason happened in the 8th grade. Lakeside Christian School was where I attended and even though my peers seemed to hate the school it seemed to agree with me quite well. I was in my English class and was called up to my teachers desk. He informed me that no assignments for the entire quarter had been turned in. He informed me I was failing my class.  So immediately  I tried to think of a way out of my situation that I had gotten myself in. I knew for a fact that I had done nothing but talk throughout the entire quarter, and that when school came to an end I would pop a movie in and get lost in the world of fiction.

I needed to pass this class if I wanted to keep this routine up. I needed a C to satisfy my mom. That's all I needed. So I thought of a solution.

My normal tendency is to be very shy, but under the proper circumstances I can turn into Marlon Brando.
So I put my acting face on and asked the teacher if he could step outside. We stepped outside and as soon as he shut the door tears swelled up in my eyes and a story found it's way out of my mouth. I told him that life was just so confusing right now. I was so lost and just needed to have somebody to talk to. One of the people closest to me had just died and I didn't know if they made it to heaven. No I didn't want to talk about it. I just didn't have homework on my mind! This of course was all bullshit.

He bought it. He did more than buy it actually. He gave me a passing grade and told me not to tell anyone because he could get into big trouble if anyone found out. I had no problem with keeping this secret either. It was my own little personal victory that no one even needed to know about.

Later that day I was waiting for my Mom to pick me  up, and this kid named Sean comes up to me. He says "Why don't you do your work in English? Your gunna turn out to be a failure." Of course at the time I'm thinking to myself "I get out of doing a whole quarters worth of work and you're calling me a FAILURE?" but I keep my victory  to myself.

Thinking back though that really was setting myself up for failure. When I think about all the work I put into not doing my work back in school it makes me realize how little was learned. School just never really agreed with me. I'm not saying that I'm uneducated or anything. I know more than your average person when it comes to things like science or history. It's just the Discovery Channel and the History Channel taught me those things.

Maybe it all stems from my constant need to be in trouble. I love the feeling of being pushed to the limit in social situations. Somehow it makes life more interesting to prove yourself when the cards are down, but I hate so see where this will bring me in my future.

Hopefully I don't find out the hard way... I probably will